Rainer Maria Rilke

From the Book of Hours

Added 20 February 2012

WEBMASTER'S NOTE: The following page was written by Guntram Deichsel.

From my friends of Münzinghof (www.muenzinghof.de) , a village community near Nuremberg, Germany providing a home for handicapped people, I received a Rilke poem together with their New Year’s wishes for 2007. The poem might as well be a prayer as a love poem. It is from a period in which Rilke engaged himself in various loose relationships which he ended, however, as soon as his ladies asked him for tighter ones. I accepted the mission impossible of a challenge to strive for a translation preserving Rilke’s rhyme structure and metrum.

Guntram Deichsel, Biberach an der Riss, Germany, January 2007

Wenn es nur einmal so ganz stille wäre.
Wenn das Zufällige und Ungefähre
verstummte und das nachbarliche Lachen
wenn das Geräusch, das meine Sinne machen,
mich nicht so sehr verhinderte am Wachen -:

Dann könnte ich in einem tausendfachen
Gedanken bis an deinen Rand dich denken

und dich besitzen (nur ein Lächeln lang),
um dich an alles Leben zu verschenken
wie einen Dank.

A
A
B
B
B

B
C

D
C
D

If it were only once totally silent.
If happenstance and vagueness
hushed and the neighbouring laughter,
if the sound which my senses make
won’t keep me so from being awake-:

Then I could in a in a thousandfold
thought think yourself to your edge

and possess you (only as long as a smile)
to donate you to all that lives
like thanks.

Rainer Maria Rilke, aus: Das Stundenbuch / Das Buch vom mönchischen Leben
Berlin-Schmargendorf, 1899-Sep-22

Rainer Maria Rilke, from The Book of Hours / The Book of Monkish Life, Berlin 1899
Literal translation: Guntram Deichsel
(2007-Jan-03)

Dann könnte ich in einem tausendfachen
Gedanken bis an deinen Rand dich denken

und dich besitzen (nur ein Lächeln lang),
um dich an alles Leben zu verschenken
wie einen Dank.

A
A
B
B
B

B
C

D
C
D

If silence would, just only once, caress
All happenstance and vagueness
If near-by laughter all would hush
and all the sounds mysenses brush
won’t keep me so from being aware-:

Then in a giant thought I’d dare
to think yourself down to your fringe

and have you (only for asmile)
to donate you to all that lives
just like some thanks.

Lyrical translation: Guntram Deichsel V.1
(2007-Jan-07)

Dann könnte ich in einem tausendfachen
Gedanken bis an deinen Rand dich denken

und dich besitzen (nur ein Lächeln lang),
um dich an alles Leben zu verschenken
wie einen Dank.

A
A
B
B
B

B
C

D
C
D

If silence would, just only once, caress
All happenstance and vagueness,
if near-by laughter all would hush
and all the sounds my senses brush
won’t keep my thoughts from being lush-:

Then in a thousand thoughts I’d gush
yourself down to your very edge

and have you (only for a smile’s duration),
to donate you to all the life, I’d pledge,
in grateful contemplation.

Lyrical translation: Guntram Deichsel V.2
(2007-Jan-09)

I asked Esther Goldhammer (a teacher on Long Island) to comment on my desperate attempts.
She is right with her criticism, and the solution she offers is striking!

Here is her reply of 11 January 2007:

I do not think that, in most cases, it is possible to actually have words rhyme in two languages when a poem is translated from one language to another. In order to make the stretch to rhyme in English, I think you lose the meat of the poem and it actually sounds sort of "mushy" (overly romantic). I have created an English translation in FREE VERSE, i.e. not rhyming, which I think sort of captures the essence of what Rilke was trying to say. Upon reading the German, I really get what he's trying to say, but it's very difficult to express it in a lyrical way, much less rhyming it. You may be barking up the tree of Sisyphus, my friend.

Here's what I came up with:

If the murmur of Life’s fortuities
And the ensuant cackle diverting my senses
Would only, just once, be stilled,
I could devote a thousand-fold thought to you,
And possess you, even if only for the span of a smile.
Then I’d gift you to all that lives, as thanks.